Food Quotes -BoysJoys


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Vegetables are a must on a diet.  I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.  ~Jim Davis

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.  ~Voltaire

There is a lot more juice in grapefruit than meets the eye.  ~Author Unknown

We think fast food is equivalent to pornography, nutritionally speaking.  ~Steve Elbert

High-tech tomatoes.  Mysterious milk.  Supersquash.  Are we supposed to eat this stuff?  Or is it going to eat us?  ~Annita Manning

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn.  ~Garrison Keillor

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?  ~Author Unknown

Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it.  ~Author Unknown

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning.  ~John Barrymore

Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables.  They probably get jet-lagged, just like people.  ~Elizabeth Berry

No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.  ~Channing Pollock

Red meat is not bad for you.  Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you!  ~Tommy Smothers

Chemicals, n:  Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.  ~Author Unknown

It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat.  ~Robert Fuoss

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices:  take it or leave it.  ~Buddy Hackett

Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.  Lettuce pray.  ~Author Unknown

Edible, adj.:  Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.  ~Ambrose Bierce

One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.  ~Luciano Pavarotti and William Wright, Pavarotti, My Own Story

After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual "food" out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.  ~Miss Piggy

The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis.  ~Beatrice & Ira Freeman

You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.  ~Earl Wilson

The belly rules the mind.  ~Spanish Proverb

My favorite animal is steak.  ~Fran Lebowitz

When baking, follow directions.  When cooking, go by your own taste.  ~Laiko Bahrs

We are all dietetic sinners; only a small percent of what we eat nourishes us; the balance goes to waste and loss of energy.  ~William Osler

If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate.  ~Diogenes the Cynic

The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.  ~G.K. Chesterton

All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.  ~John Gunther

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.  ~Josh Billings

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.  ~Fran Lebowitz

A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed.  ~George Rosenbaum

Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.  ~Henry IV of France

Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.  ~Robert Byrne

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.  ~Lewis Grizzard

In Mexico we have a word for sushi:  bait.  ~José Simons

I don't think America will have really made it until we have our own salad dressing.  Until then we're stuck behind the French, Italians, Russians and Caesarians.  ~Pat McNelis

Chili represents your three stages of matter:  solid, liquid, and eventually gas.  ~Roseanne, "Don't Make Me Over," May 1992, spoken by character Dan Conner

A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat.  ~Old New York Proverb

Large, naked raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.  ~Fran Lebowitz

It's bizarre that the produce manager is more important to my children's health than the pediatrician.  ~Meryl Streep

Eat little, sleep sound.  ~Iranian Proverb

The greatest delight the fields and woods minister is the suggestion of an occult relation between man and the vegetable.  I am not alone and unacknowledged.  They nod to me and I to them.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The way you cut your meat reflects the way you live.  ~Confucius

Worries go down better with soup.  ~Jewish Proverb

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.  ~Fran Lebowitz

I eat merely to put food out of my mind.  ~N.F. Simpson

I take a vitamin every day.  It's called a steak.  ~Leo Benvenuti and Steve Rudnick, Kicking & Screaming, 2005, spoken by the character Buck Weston

Dyspepsia is the remorse of a guilty stomach.  ~A. Kerr