Tale Of My Soul

by Mishori Banerjee

Tale of my Soul

“Love isn't blind or deaf or dumb - in fact it sees far more than it will ever tell. It is going beyond yourself and stretching who you are for someone else. Being in love entails seeing someone as you wish they were: to love them is to see who they really are and still care for them. Love isn't bitter, but you can't have love without pain: sacrifice is the hallmark of love, the coin of love.

Being in love usually is used in a romantic sense when you meet your significant other transforming a normal relationship into a deeper one without further interest in others. 

Love means that you trust the person, would do anything for the person, and know that person is with you through thick and thin....”
"There are no shortcuts through the way of life", and so, sometimes in spite of strong unwillingness, we have to face all the trials. Trials which often leave us heart-broken and paralyzed. We are lost and shattered. But its really upto us whether we will let others become the masters of our lives and dictate upon us.

I was one of those who allowed others to rule upon them, and the result was, I lost five precious years of my life. Being a mediocre student, it was not easy for me to get admitted to a good college for Graduation. Somehow, my luck favored and I got admission. I had to move away from my home and come all the way to Kolkata to pursue my studies.

College life means freedom, fun and love. It was not an exception for me either. Rishi, my class-mate soon became my special man. Those days were wonderful. Everyday we discovered something new, something special in each other. We found the world of peace and happiness in each other's arms. Days, months, years passed and our love strengthened. I met his parents and the world seemed so beautiful. Five years rolled by and we were desperate to tie the knot. Everything was fixed. We had even started shopping for the auspicious day. I could hear the Sehnaai. I could visualize myself as a coy bride. I kept humming romantic songs throughout the day. I smiled for no reasons at all. I felt I was the happiest girl under the sun.

Suddenly I was taken ill. I had stones in the gall-bladder and it had to be operated upon. Consequently my health deteriorated. He called off all his plans to settle down with me saying I was no more beautiful, no more presentable. I was shocked. I begged of him and his parents not to leave me. I nearly cried myself to death. I had to be hospitalized and given doses of anti-depression and sleeping pills. The incident left me speechless and sick for months.

I had nowhere to go. I had lost my job and with my sick looks and limited degrees nobody wanted to recruit me. A very dear friend stood by me during the crisis. I am really indebted to him. One fine day he proposed to me for marriage and I readily accepted. A month later he said it would not be possible for him to move on with me. His mother was opposed to our match because a relative had informed her that I was into a relationship earlier.

I cried for a day, got up the next day and decided to move on. I promised myself that I won't allow myself to be a climber any more. I had made myself so weak that I couldn't move without anyone's support, but no more. I realized that what else do I need for company when I have my own self.

I started working out and preparing myself to face the world. Today I am working as an Executive Officer for a reputed company and am also doing freelance reporting and News-Reading for a channel. I am striving hard to make a mark and I know I will do it. I have also started studying again. I am happily busy and am deriving immense pleasure from my work. I am living life to the fullest because I love MYSELF now.

There is a sweet little boy called Sid who says I am like a holy book whose each and every page is beautiful. I remember the first time he saw me. He didn't know my name, so he just called me "Miss Beautiful". That day I came back home and looked into the mirror. For months I didn't even look at my reflection properly because I was scared of my sick looks. But that day when I looked into the mirror, believe me, I was glowing....