Sunshine and Memories

by Life Full of Dreams

Life is always fair at the end... Trust it.

In life sometime discouragement sets in. Happen to all of us. We try hard, stay true to our dreams and pursue our ideals. Yet nothings happen. Or so it seems. But every choice matters. And every step counts. Life runs according its own agenda, not ours.

Nanu was my sunshine. I called him that, because he lit up my life. It was in the month of April 2008, one day my cell phone buzzed a strange number. When I called back, the boy who answered the call told me apologetically that he got the number from my college best friend Telma. “Coincidence or Destiny”. As I was busy walking down the tunnel, I just hanged up the phone saying I will talk with him later. Then, later he kept on calling me and I was a bit hesitating to answer the call of a stranger. Late in the evening when I returned home after shopping, I thought to give a call back to him. It was around 8.00pm, he answered the call, the talk went on for 2hours with intro of each other, work life etc. And the night ended with lot of thoughts in my mind. “Good deeds aren’t just good for the soul-they may be key to our survival”.

Our background and attitudes were as different as the sea and sky. I was from a small village Chorao, with short- tempered nature, with an anxious nature. I liked my music loud, my coffee strong and my dreams large. I can say I’m a day dreamer. I like people with passion and conversations that call out the best within me and want to love the people in my life like I really mean it. I want to live with intensity. “At the end of our lives, the only thing that endures is who we became, the difference we made and the love we gave”. This is all I’m. He was from Cortalim, calm and positive by temperament. I can say he was a person of word rather being “all talk and no action”. What is within must always appear without. Similar to other boys he liked to dance, listen to rock music, football was his passion. He liked fish, curry and rice. 

He was genius, self independent. And regarding his profession, he was a soft engineer. 
Powerful thought: life’s most painful experience are the very circumstances that introduce us to our best. Hard times cause us to go to deep. The unmeaningful stuff falls aside and awake to what’s important. Things like family, friends, relationships, presenting our best to the world enjoying each day’s gift leaving the world better than we found it. 

We kept on talking on the phone for hours; it used to be endless nights. The year ended with lot of hopes as I have mentioned above, I was a day dreamer. Everyone who is causing you stress, struggle and challenge in your life just might be an angel of sort... carrying the lessons you most need to learn. There can be no success without failure. It’s just part of process.. You need to fail to win. That‘s what I learnt from my past. Every second you dwell on the past you steal from your future. Every time minute you spend focusing on your problems you take away from finding yours solutions. Forgiveness is a great act of spirit and personal courage. It is also one of the best ways to elevate the quality of you.Your thoughts are shaped by the people you associate with, by the books you read, by the words you speak and by the daily physical surroundings. He pursued me in his quiet way. 

Days and months went by; the person who was a strange unknown to me became close. He inspired me with his thought & emotions!!! He always used to find a new ways to “wow” me. I used to tell him long stories that have no meaning, but he used to listen. He used to listen for hours. When I'm sad; he would take the pain away with a joke. When I’m feeling the worst, he made me feel the happiest. He always knew what to say when I get mad at him. He made me smile in his absence. I still remember the incidence, when I was travelling in the crowded train all of a sudden I started to smile and giggle. It made me so embarrassed coz the people around were staring at me. “To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness”. It is difficult to know what moment love begin; it is less difficult to know it has begun.

Months had past... we never met face to face. A day came, when we decided to see each others. It was Sunday and I used to hear Mass at Marine line at 7.30am, which was said in Konkani. After Mass got over, I gave him a call saying I was waiting for him on the plate form. In the middle of the crowd we were searching for each other.... finally we were meeting for the first time. He didn’t like me as, I was stout he said. He was disappointed with me. I never thought that his presence in my life will affect me. Each day we have the opportunity to make choice. And the way we choose shapes our destiny. 

I called one of my best pal just to share my feelings. I told everything what was going in my mind. In other way, he is my priority. My buddy took it as a joke and he said its infatuation.Craziness!!! And I will forget him as time passes by, in reality it never happened. He had become a sort of obsession for me. At the same time ...the similar tale was with my other best close pal.

One day I saw the falling star and I wished my dream come true. “He who asks may not be a fool for five minutes. He who doesn’t is a fool for a lifetime”, goes the Chinese proverb. You might be surprised at the abundance that will flow into your life when you just ask sincerely for the things you want... 

In between my sister’s wedding took place. I was expecting him to come for the function but he didn’t turn up. Soon or later it was my turn to marry, and I was confused to marry a wrong person whom I didn’t love at all. I always believed in fairy tales stories. He was my dream my passion. Rest of my life, I wanted to spend with him.
All of a sudden one day I told him that m getting engaged with the other guy. His reaction was cool, it didn’t worried him much. He took the topic as lightly and he continued to have a chat with me. I was becoming possessive about him. Even, while talking his small talk would matter a lot for me. But for him, it was as normal chitchat. He didn’t even realise what I was feeling for him. I always used to tease him saying, his heart was a stone. My dreams were shattered!!! But my heart was not accepting the truth. “The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstance they want, and if they can’t find them, make them”. 

One day we went on the Marine drive for a walk and we both sat down opposite facing the sea. It was a lovely evening, the sound of the breeze, the wave and the red sky made the evening more beautiful. First time he hold my hand, his hands were so soft and caring. My world was sitting next to me. It was a wonderful moment in my life. That night I was not able to sleep... I kept on thinking of him. 

It was a working day... I had tussle with my colleague and my face had become pale. At that moment I got a was him!!! It was around 11.30am, he never used to call in the morning. It was a bit surprise for me and on the other hand I was happy too.... He asked me whether we could meet up in the evening after work. I was waiting for him on the plate form at malad. He came and told me that he will drop me home. After 1 hours journey in the rick, we reached to dahisar station. It was a shocking.... He kissed me!!!!!!!!!!!! There were lot of questions left on my mind. I was not his type of girl then why he kissed me. Why???????? 

The next day we met again and he told me to lose weight. Go to the fitness centre... I never agreed. Eventually things changed and he decided to take the step, he took me to the fitness centre ie. Churchgate VLCC. I had to go for 3 months to lose 15kgs, my weight was above 70kgs. I was serious about losing weight coz, I loved him a lot. “Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own”. 

I was able to lose 12 kgs. Our wedding took place in Goa, on 11th December 2010. Today I have a lovely family. Who are caring and loving etc. Now it’s not just a dream.... it’s a reality... 
With all my heart I love my family and hubby a lot....
Shall we compare our hearts to a garden -with beautiful blooms, straggling weeds, swooping birds and sunshine, rain -and most importantly, seeds?
It is incomplete .... i have to add lot of stuff .
Just the beginning....