Wishing, Waiting

by afu saeed

It was end of 2009, i was almost suffering from my break up with ex boyfriend. All i could do was wake up, go to office call friends ask about my ex boyfriend. Tell u truth i kinda was a robot!!! with no feelings and nothing at all. felt like i almost lost my everything. 
Almost everyone in family knew about it and was upset, but they never showed me they try to keep smile if I'm around. but i always knew they were upset, i blame myself for that.
mostly in nights thinking of him i feel tears in my eyes.. sometimes wonder whether he will miss me! he will think of me!! what did went wrong that he left me??? will my tears will be ever valued?? will i ever have guts to trust and love some again?? my only and last wish was to meet him one.

i still remember that first day i saw him. it was our semester break we were having group studies in college. As usually i was late for whole two hours. They almost covered half of syllabus without me.
As soon as i joined the group some one said"Bella, Jake wants your number?" 
I was in shocking thinking why Jake wanted my number and wondering who was this what he was doing in my group? 

he was tall, had curly hair was dark had a cute smile eyes were brown. i just stayed at him until my friend beside him teased me by telling
"Bella he is taken, stop that?" 
my cheeks went red and i took my book and went to sit away with other friend around the corner that was our first meeting.
Jake was my best friends boy friend. later when Jake came I got to know that he was Jake's friend and name David and he was in our course too. Jake introduce him to me and we soon became friends. 
Then following days we were like a Couple every where together, i kinda forgot about friends never had time for them always going somewhere with David, days were magical. soon our exam was over and we got holidays, and as almost everyone left for there homeland.

i was alone because till David had his exam on i wanted spend more time before i leave so i stayed. we did enjoy my stay lot, visited may places took lot of pictures. it was tearing me apart to go for holidays till them i was sure that Dave was my love of life I made my mind before i leave i will tell him what i feel about him because i don't wanted to lose him ever? i felt he also wanted that

so with lot of courage before the leaving night i text ed Dave that i want meet him, without any hesitation he came that's also leaving the match were his favorite team was playing cau you image that? that proved me that he had sometime for me? that night before me he said that he loves me lot and we did spend whole night together holding hands just like new born. 

As time came for me to go he was sad i could feel that but he assured me that we will have great time when i cum back next semester and we will tell other about our relationship later. 
It felt like i was only human being on earth but as everything has tow sides i was afraid of the speed that things were changing.

my holidays went sleepless and waiting to see him again.
I came back One week before semester so at least we can get time to spend together and he did same he came too. 
but this rime he is changed even though he is with me i felt something wrong i wanted to talk to him but all he says not know its my TP time. later 
and then that later become forever later. 

i remember the last words of him" Bells i went on a date with a girl.. i think i umm..umm.. like her not sure may be love her.. can i see her again?"

the words were like someone is stabbing poisonous knife into my heart.
all i could asked was " Dave don't you love me any more?"

his answer was " umm..I dono bells! after you left lot change.. I..'m s..o...r...r...yyy!!!"

i did cried but he didn't knew that.I wanted him a lot for my life but he was not meant for me!!

then slowly i gave space him to so that he could think and choose me. but he was fast he made the choice and moved with her!!
all i had was tears and broken heart till today with questions and unfulfilled waiting.